Some time ago I stumbled upon this video on Upworthy and I’ve been meaning to discuss it since, so here goes:
I guess this post is kind of a sequel to another one I wrote some time ago (Choices), but this issue really can’t be repeated enough..
When I first saw the video I found it hilarious, probably because I think most of the actors in it are very funny, and the whole situation they are facing is so ridiculous.
But you know, it’s not gonna eat all of us, it only eats like one in five, so..
However, the matter they are trying to spread awareness about is indeed not funny, not at all. It’s sick. And I find the whole issue so unbelievable; how can it not be obvious by this point in time that sexual assault and rape is unacceptable? How can this STILL be an issue? What the fuck is wrong with people?! When will everyone understand what consent means, and the importance of respecting it? It really is not that difficult, or, it shouldn’t be that difficult, but apparently, some people just do not seem to get it..
You guys know the old saying: “Bears will be bears”
In connection with this issue, I was happy to recently read about a news story regarding a Swedish lawyer who asked an accused rapist in court to describe his underwear. When the court asked about the relevance in this, she rebutted with: “It has the same amount of relevance as the thongs my client was wearing.” Her point being that it does not matter what the hell a woman choses to wear, a rape is not based on clothes, it is based on the rapist and we should all stop with the blaming and shaming of the victims because it is not their fault. The only one to blame for a rape is the rapist. I don’t care if a woman walks around buck naked, no one has the right to put a finger on her because of that. I don’t care if a woman flirts with a guy in a bar, that is still not a damn invitation for rape. And I don’t care if a woman said yes at some point and then before the “crucial moment” changed her mind to no. That No is still valid, we all have the right to change our damn minds however way we please and whenever we please. Really, consent is not that difficult to comprehend and also to respect; it is the difference between a yes and a no. Now if everyone could just get that into their thick skulls we could all move forward and focus on other issues. But until then, I am glad that there are people who make videos and speak up about this and shed a new light on it, cause this is a serious issue, it is a violent crime, and it should concern us all. One in five. That means that everyone most likely has or knows someone who has been, or will be, sexuality assaulted or raped. How can we all collectively accept this? The short answer is: we can’t.
Just pretending it’s not there will never make it go away.